Sex Party.

One of my favorite memories of being pregnant, and honestly my entire life was finding out the sex of my baby! It's one of those miraculous moments in life where everything changes. Pregnancy is 9 months of amazement (hopefully!), but giving it reality.. giving it the "I have a daughter/son" moment is just beyond incredible. For me, it wasn't at first, it broke my heart!

Jeff had always wanted a son named Carter Louis. Carter from ER, so lame, and Louis being a family middle name passed down. I didn't like the name, but more I didn't like that it was a name we didn't pick together, so from day one I went through lists of boy names in my head. Naming a boy, in my opinion, is much more difficult than naming a girl. From there people kept convincing me that I was having a daughter and I was always quick to cringe at the idea. I'm not a girly person, so having a daughter just seemed weird to me.. but then the idea started growing on me. I had the nursery, lavender, creamy white, and pink, all decorated in my mind with patchwork and flowers and glitter and.. seriously, girly explosion! Her name was Jensen, we had favorite songs that we danced to, she had a personality.. she EXISTED! Pretty weird.. I know, but I just fell in love with the idea of this little princess.

We found out the gender of our baby on January 13th, but we weren't the first to know.. Amy was. Our appointment was at 8:30 in the morning, but we wanted to share the moment with our closest family and friends so Jeff and I decided to look away from the screen while Amy looked. That was the longest day of my life and I was sure I was having a girl. The ultrasound tech, whom I could go back and slap dropped a "she" while we were talking about the baby.. she probably needs to rethink the tricky game. Also after my appointment Amy and I went to Belly Bliss (pretty much Heaven if you're pregnant!) and shopped around and Amy picked up not only a pink outfit, but kept bringing my attention to this adorable lavender piggy bank with polka dots wearing a tutu, really glad I didn't just go with my gut and buy that stupid bank right then.



8:30am-6:30pm was probably the most obnoxious day for my sister, between my dad threatening her life if she didn't spill and me wanting to know but not wanting to know from one minute to the next. She had a cake made that was completely gender neutral on the outside, but the inside either blue or pink. That night we had our family and a few friends over for pizza with this cake just staring at us, waiting for me to jump across the counter and tear it open, or drop it, or.. whatever I could do to get to the inside of it. Jeff cut the cake, because I couldn't do it.. he had said before that if it were a girl, he was going to a bar to get drunk, because a life of worrying about a little girl was more than he could handle. The 3 seconds it took to cut the cake felt like 3 hours, and as soon as I saw the blue peering through I told him to put the cake back together and tried to hold back my tears. CRUSHED! After everyone left that night I just sat on the couch and cried, at one point I had finally calmed down when a Disneyland commercial came on and the sobbing started again with "I won't get to dress him like a princess at Disneyland", but then Jeff said I could dress him like Mickey Mouse or Peter Pan, and I felt a little better.







The next day I didn't even want to get out of bed, and then started feeling so guilty that I was being so ridiculous about this baby that was in me, and still depended on me for everything and still needed me, and even more so that he could have been affected by my selfish emotions and I began to fall in love with him all over again. Today I am so thankful for my son. So thankful doesn't even begin to describe it.. I am head over heals times infinity in love with my little boy, he is by far the most amazing thing that has ever, and at this point I feel, will ever, happen to me. He is why I'm excited to wake up in the morning and why I have to look through photo albums of him at night when he goes to bed because I miss him. And when we go to have another child, I have my fingers crossed for a second boy.. or a girl. Ha!

Anyway.. it's crazy to think that was a year ago. Time FLIES!! I just wanted to share this story because it's one of my favorite, although I have every intention of deleted the video of it just to make sure Reilly never sees it! The next day I did realize the upside of having a boy when I tried to shop for baby clothes for the first time.. pretty sure Jeff would divorce me if we had a girl because I would spend way too much on dresses and "grandma sweaters" as he calls them!