Back to Work.

IS NOT FUN! I have been dreading today since Monday, but also my entire life. Yes, I've been "back to work" since Reilly was born, but.. on my own schedule, come and go as I please, and like..9 hours a week. That was the life! But I ended that life in March because it was just.. not what I thought it would be. I signed a on with a different group doing the same job.. and am still signed on with them, but.. they are proving to be brain dead so I'm moving on without them, and when they get it together, we'll see.. anyway, as for now I'm back at My Left Foot Children's Therapy, where I was right before I got pregnant with Reilly! It's weird.

As I was saying.. I have been dreading this day. Reilly is my best friend in the entire universe, I love love love spending every minute of the day with him! And I love love love that he loves spending every minute of the day with me, and doesn't like when other people try to hold him, and clings to me, and follows me everywhere because I know it won't last forever, and I just live for that feeling of being the most important person in the world to him! It's honestly the greatest feeling in the world. So for me, going back to work, yeah.. I'll miss him, but the thought of him missing me is what tears me to pieces. Today was the first day and I only cried as I was walking to the car after dropping him off at my mom's house, he did fine though, he gave me a kiss and waved as I left looking slightly confused. He didn't cry at all during the day, during lunch I called him and he kissed the phone and laid his head on it while I was talking to him, and then when I picked him up he took 4 STEPS just to get to me!! We came home and took our a bath together (yes.. I wear a bathing suit..) and then played. Jeff got home and asked when his bedtime was, and.. I decided I don't like bedtime anymore.. I want to soak up every second that he is pleasant and awake. Jeff vetoed that one real quick! So today was easy.. tomorrow though I just want to avoid. I'm crossing my fingers when I leave he is excited to play with his Grandma and Uncle Keith, probably not Aunt Karen though, and doesn't cry because now he knows that when I leave I don't come back for a while. Hoping he does great again! We shall see!!

I am too neurotic though. MY MOM is watching him, the woman who raised me, and three of my siblings.. clearly she is perfectly capable, at least she did a fabulous job with me! Yet I still feel the need to pack his breakfast, lunch, and snack.. with directions and a meal plan. Hoping that doesn't last as well.. I'm just so picky about his fruit and vegetable combinations and it's not natural. Working on letting go.. I really need to work on that one. The other night Jeff went to the grocery store to pick up a few items and I couldn't sleep because I wondered if he checked the recipe on the chicken nuggets to make sure they weren't battered with eggs. Alas.. I checked the recipe first thing in the morning, they were fine. But these are all firsts for me, I'm sure baby #2 will roll around in the dirt and eat.. bugs for lunch.

OH.. and he was cracking me up tonight when we were playing. That kid.. I don't know where he gets it from, he is a nut! He has this new angry face he makes.. where he tilts his head down, gives you a mean stare and pinches his lips together for a few seconds, then cracks up! It kills me every time! And then he was picking up my phone, holding it up like he was going to take a picture, and saying "cheese". I just love every little inch of him!

Anyway.. I guess that's it for now, too exhausted to upload pictures, I'll try to get that angry face one, it's just too great!

Quick Attempt at an Update.

So much has happened in the past few weeks, thus no update. Reilly is 1 now, that's very exciting! We had his birthday party on June 4th and it was fun.. I think. Don't be surprised if the kid never has a birthday party again! Holy cow.. I'm a nutcase. I might have gotten a little anxious about the planning and the details.. and fears of things going wrong. A few nights before the party I had nightmares about everything going wrong, and had to force myself to stay in bed as opposed to get up and start making lists. I made the lists after breakfast the next morning instead. Plus.. considering all the planning and cost that goes into a birthday party- I'd so much rather take a vacation and actually enjoy the day and relax, and at least enjoy it for longer than the hour and a half a party lasts. You can tell me I need to take it easy all you want, but.. that's just not my personality, unfortunately.

Last week we drove to northern California for my cousin, Bonnie's, wedding! We had SUCH a great time. We only really got to see our entire family the day of the wedding, but it was still good to see everyone, and Alison went with us, so it was a definite plus to get some sister time in considering we see her on a big year, twice. Reilly got to play with Marley again, which is always fun. He is so cute.. and so tiny compared to Rei! The drive up took about 10 hours and the drive home ended up taking 12. We were pretty nervous about the trip, and were considering it a test run for our drive to Denver next month- with flight plans still in our minds, but it was totally fine! Karen is an official part of any drive we ever take though, she kept him entertained in the back seat for a majority of the drive, which was the best! We made sure to take plenty of new toys, which his birthday being the week prior definitely helped with, lots of snacks, and stopped at a park for lunch and to get out and play. OH! And major milestone.. he took his first steps!! Soo exciting! My dad recorded it.. and emailed it to me, but the attachment didn't come through so you'll get that later. But he did take two steps.. at a rest stop along the way. Considering everyone around him went ballistic, I wouldn't be surprised if he never tried to walk again though.


He is definitely in a really fun age right now. I know I know.. I think every age is fun, but this one is really fun! Ha.. anyway, he has become quite the little helper. Yesterday I decided to take on putting together his toy box while he was awake (I couldn't handle the toys on the floor for another second.. and some of his Christmas and Birthday gifts were still unopened in the closet because.. yeah.. toys, freak me out! I should get over that..), anyway.. he demanded a screwdriver and would literally try to use it on whatever part I had just finished. So funny, he just sat inside the toy box working away. Then today I was dusting his room, and he dropped what he was doing with his toys, and hurried right over to help. He wanted the spray.. and threw a fit when he couldn't have it, but settled on having a cloth and getting to wipe his crib. In a few short months I'll have the little slave child I've always dreamed of! What other reason is there to have children? I'm kidding..

So that's that.. he finally sleeps through the night! Yay!! It's a lot tougher on me though than I ever thought getting a full nights rest would be. From waking up every few hours to pee while I was pregnant and nursing all night for the past year, I've gotten used to a lack of sleep, now it's harder to wake up after 8 hours.. who knew! I'm sure I'll get used to it and love every hour very very soon though!

The First Year..

(waiting in his crib in the morning)



(his usual face lately.. driving me CRAZY!)
Holy smokes!! Reilly is a year old.. an entire year has gone by, when?

As 12 months approached I wondered how I would feel, I wondered mostly if I would get emotional and cry about it, but the closer we got, the more excited I felt! Yeah, he is no longer in his first year of life, but I'm so excited for what's to come! He is so much fun now, okay.. if you have spoken to me in the past week you know I'm lying, but even his screaming all day long is fun in that.. he's showing personality and growing, and being a little too demanding for his own good. He is his mother's son, can't blame him. I cannot believe that a year ago I was tucked away in my hospital bed just watching the baby in the bassinet next to me, until the took him away to do his pku test in the middle of the night.. weird! When I was pregnant, I couldn't remember a life without my massive belly, I got so used to it and couldn't remember what it was like to have rock hard six pack abs.. ha.. ha. Yeah, that's a joke if you didn't catch it. Now I don't remember what it was like TO have the belly, I put a balloon in my shirt the other day just for kicks, and immediately was able to navigate through the house and small doorways like I had been doing it every day of my life. That's kind of strange. Anyway.. I was excited, and am excited for the months to come and to be able to do more with Reilly! He really is the funniest little guy, and I know every mother things their kid is the most beautiful, most sweet, most funny, most perfect kid.. I don't think he's all of those.. but he is the funniest, that kid.. that kid.. his new thing is jedi mind trick moves. His uncles taught him that- where he waves his hand across the air in front of you. Like really.. are you joking me? Jedi mind tricks? And he has also developed a love of the word "no".. he says it so pretentiously too, I like to offer him things I know he doesn't like just to see him close his eyes and shake his head with a quick "Neh", until I finally offer what he does like, to which his face lights up as he reaches for it.

On Wednesday I had my first "whoa" moment. The day before Reilly was born last year I had a crazy long to-do list. I guess that's the joy of knowing when your baby is being born (he was induced), you get to make sure everything is ready! So I was running every errand in town, including grocery shopping to make sure the house was full of food for at least two weeks (NOT the brightest idea 9 months pregnant, getting the groceries into the car was not a comfortable task..)! Anyway, I went to the Walmart near our house, well on Wednesday I had to stop there to pick something up and walked out at the same hour that I did a year prior, then looked in the cart and saw my baby sleeping in his car seat and had a total "holy crap, where did he come from" moment! Seriously.. a whole year! Insane, I can't get over it. However, I am definitely happy where we are now and I wouldn't go back for anything in the world, only forward with this little guy. I told Jeff that I was kind of sad on Wednesday, because there's nothing more exciting than the anticipation of a new baby, and getting the hang of things, and everything being new.. whether it's your first baby or not- it's always a new adjustment and lifestyle. His response was "well we'll be doing it again pretty soon anyway".. which is so exciting, but I only want two, so.. that leaves me sad about the thought that we only get to do it once more (yeah.. sit inside my brain for a minute.. it's a roller coaster..).

Aside from all of that.. Reilly's 1st Birthday was pretty good! He woke up to balloons and Jeff and me singing Happy Birthday to him at 7 in the morning, had blueberry pancakes, slept through My Gym, went to Papa's for dinner, and a cupcake, then screamed himself to sleep from exhaustion on the drive home. His birthday party is tomorrow.. which I am vowing to never do again. At least not next year.. I have planned this thing for months, gathered for weeks, and have now worked my tail off since 9am preparing everything for his hour and a half party! Next year.. Disneyland, it's already decided!